My name is Emily Maya Mills. I do comedy bits. Born and raised in the Sucker Free. Hold me.

www.emilymayamills.com

www.twitter.com/emilymayamills

Contact: emilymayamills at yahoo.com

3 Arts: Olivia Gerke,ogerke at 3arts.com

APA: John Griffin, jgriff at apa-agency.com

12th August 2014

Post with 201 notes

Maybe this is about Me: Thank You, Mr. Williams

Growing up in San Francisco, Robin Williams was our hometown celeb. I could never quite comprehend it, not because a celebrity lived two neighborhoods over but because he lived two neighborhoods over. ROBIN WILLIAMS. Mork and Mindy was my first favorite show. Popeye. Good Morning Vietnam. He knocked us on our asses every time a trailer came on TV. He knocked us on our asses for 35 years.  He was human fucking dynamite.

One Sunday when I was a kid, my mom came home with a box of plates that she swears she bought at a garage sale at Robin Williams’ house. She had some bizarre story about the nanny’s Russian mom and Cold War hardship that sort of flimsily explained why there would be a garage sale at Robin Williams’ house. And we gobbled it up, proudly revealing to all future dinner guests that we were eating off of Robin Williams’ actual plates. Usually when their mouths were full for maximum fun and danger. 

When I moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in comedy and acting, she gave me those plates with an intense nod and a slow wink. We both knew these were magical plates, holy possessions that would surely guide me on my rapid accent to an Oscar studded destiny. 

Six years ago he popped up next to me in a dark hallway while I was watching ASSSSCAT and managing the house at UCB. He was gentle, his eyes were tender. They were almost all you could see of him in the darkness but they twinkled (sorry, there is no better word) in a way that was eternally recognizable. Over the next 4-6 months, this quiet ritual developed where he’d sneak up behind me in the dark and nod. I’d say, “hey. Do you want to go up?” And he would nod and say, “sure yeah, okay.” Or sometimes he’d put his hand up and say, “no no, that’s okay,” and just watch. He was there more often than people knew—sometimes just standing there in the dark hallway, smiling, nodding, probably salivating a little, watching the magic. It was all very surreal. I got to improvise with him at a jam once and all I can remember is that he initiated a scene and I got down on my knees, grabbed his hand to play his child and somebody else did the same on the other side. He looked at us, tightened his grip on our hands and screamed to a hospital waiting room, “somebody help! These people just got their legs cut off!”

It’s all been said. We got sustenance from his light so many times over so many years and now we have to sit here, gut-punched by the thought of his pain in those final moments. This very human, touchable, fallible, impossible, magnetic, rocket ship of a hero-man, took irreversible action in a dark state.  It’s incomprehensible and it’s not. He was unstoppable in either direction. * 

I’ll never forget where I was when I found out Robin Williams died.  Way to ruin the DMV for me, Rob. My new license photo’s going to be fucking horrible.

* Let’s all make a pact to never act in dark times. Just sleep and wait.  I don’t know. Ow. Fuck.

8th July 2013

Video with 2 notes

Hot, fresh vid by the brilliant Nick Wiger on Funny or Die today! I got to be in it along with this dream team: Joe Hartzler, Lauren Lapkus, Ryan Stone Stanger, Echo E Kellum. Check it out, don’t be scawed.

Source: funnyordie.com

26th June 2013

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Looking good, baby.
God Hates Figs 
Comedy Central Stage at the Hudson
TONIGHT, June 26th
8pm - free
RSVP: (323) 960-5519

Looking good, baby.

God Hates Figs

Comedy Central Stage at the Hudson

TONIGHT, June 26th

8pm - free

RSVP: (323) 960-5519

24th June 2013

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Dear Handsome-face,
God Hates Figs goes up on Wednesday at Comedy Central stage. Would you like to come to this show? I would like you to. Your presence would inspire such happiness.
God Hates Figs 
Comedy Central Stage at the Hudson
Wednesday, June 26th
8pm - free
RSVP: (323) 960-5519

Drinks to follow. Memories to be seared into brain matter forever.


Butterfly kisses,
Emily Maya Mills

Dear Handsome-face,

God Hates Figs goes up on Wednesday at Comedy Central stage. Would you like to come to this show? I would like you to. Your presence would inspire such happiness.

God Hates Figs

Comedy Central Stage at the Hudson

Wednesday, June 26th

8pm - free

RSVP: (323) 960-5519


Drinks to follow. Memories to be seared into brain matter forever.

Butterfly kisses,

Emily Maya Mills

12th June 2013

Video with 204 notes

@iTrevorMoore nailed it with this NSA video and I got to be in it w/ @themichaelbusch & @calehartmann

Source: funnyordie.com

4th June 2013

Link

I Heart @FrankConniff →

Got to play on his amazing radio series as teenage pop-star who signs a deal with the devil (Dana Gould). Damn, life is good. 

3rd June 2013

Video

Incredibly important work from TheDressUpGang, w/ @DonnyDivanian @CoryLoykasek @ChrisGarcia +

28th May 2013

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Channel 101: Murderers - Episode 2 →

(Disclaimer: nobody’s parents like this one. Don’t be a parent.)

1st April 2013

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Doing God Hates Figs again tomorrow, April 2nd @ 9:30p ~ UCBTLA. Come! (Tix here.)
Double feature with Ben Siemon’s La La La LA: A Puppet Musical. Let’s get weird!
https://www.facebook.com/events/490255011033969/?ref=ts&fref=ts

Doing God Hates Figs again tomorrow, April 2nd @ 9:30p ~ UCBTLA. Come! (Tix here.)

Double feature with Ben Siemon’s La La La LA: A Puppet Musical. Let’s get weird!

https://www.facebook.com/events/490255011033969/?ref=ts&fref=ts

29th March 2013

Photo with 9 notes

Doing God Hates Figs again this Tuesday, April 2nd @ 9:30p ~ UCBTLA. Come!
https://www.facebook.com/events/490255011033969/?ref=ts&fref=ts

Doing God Hates Figs again this Tuesday, April 2nd @ 9:30p ~ UCBTLA. Come!

https://www.facebook.com/events/490255011033969/?ref=ts&fref=ts