I am disappointed. I feel like a guy who has bought a car from somebody, painted...– Jay Leno - December 23, 1992 (via seankeane)
Come ON CIA!!
Even my mom pats me down when we have top secret meetings. But that’s because my daddy was a bomb maker and I might be the bomb.
Wow, what a shitty commercial...
Yeah, if you want to get my attention in a laundry mat, strike up a conversation about the McDonald’s dollar menu and the steaminess of that sausage breakfast biscuit. I will surely and swiftly throw bleach in your eyes.
What's Runaway Truck Ramp?
It’s a ramp for trucks with little backpacks and blankies that are most likely headed for a life of prostitution. (That’s right I got a job writing zingers for Bazooka Joe.)